Do you want to save your relationships and marriage? What are the steps that you need to do to have a healthy and successful relationship and marriage?
Every single day there are couples who face challenges and they search for ways not only to improve their marriage with their spouse, but also to save the marriage. Such couples are often helpless and don’t know what went wrong. In this article, I’m going to talk about some of the steps that couples need to do to save their relationship and marriage.
To save your relationship and marriage, follow the below steps:
1. Don’t only talk, take action
Many couples wonder what they could do to save their marriage. Research shows that there is a need to express your love to your spouse both verbally and by taking action. Usually women tend to express their love and appreciation verbally while men tend to express their love by acting such as providing for the house.
2. Increase positive actions
You should stop doing something that is not working. Learn to do lots of positive activities that will help improve your relationship. Spend lots of times together and speak with compassion to your spouse all the time.
Why do some couples keep doing things that don’t work with their spouse? Before you say something, ask yourself these questions:
Is what I’m going to say going to help my relationship with my spouse?
If the answer is negative, then it is necessary to stop and say something else that is positive to help bring you two closer to each other.
3. Focus on the similarities
Know that when you are in the state of resentment, you will forget the happy times you spent together and the reasons you fell in love with your partner. Research shows that when you are angry at your spouse, you tend to focus on what is wrong and the differences instead of focusing on the similarities. Start remembering the happy times you spent together and visit places that will remind the two of you with the love you had for each other.
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How to save your relationship and marriage?
Friday, November 5th, 20103 Tips to Rebuild Trust in Your Love Relationship or Marriage…Even When It’s Your Partner’s Problem
Tuesday, October 26th, 2010By Susie and Otto Collins
Sandy really wants her relationship with Will to work. She just can’t seem to be able to trust him again after what happened.
Will has always been a very communicative and loving boyfriend to Sandy, until a few months ago. After several weeks of Will not calling her as often as he used to and him being distracted when they were together, Sandy became suspicious.
She worried that Will didn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore. She feared that he was cheating.
It turns out that Sandy’s suspicions were partly true. Will did not want to lose Sandy. In fact, he still loved her. But, at the same time, one of Will’s ex-girlfriends (whom he almost married) started to e-mail and text message with him. Will found himself pulled back toward his ex and was conflicted about what to do.
He tried to keep his renewed communications with his ex– which were intimate at times– a secret from Sandy. He rationalized to himself that he wasn’t doing anything physical with his ex-girlfriend, so he wasn’t actually cheating.
When Sandy discovered a few of the text messages that Will and his ex had exchanged, she was hurt and felt betrayed. Will maintained that he hadn’t done anything wrong and told Sandy that he just needed that time to sort out his feelings for his ex.
Sandy and Will both say that they want to stay together. Unfortunately, they both think that the weak trust between them is the other one’s fault. Sandy feels like she’s been cheated on– even if nothing physical happened. Will believes that he showed restraint and that Sandy needs to give him credit for that– he sees all of this as her problem.
So, who’s right? Who is actually responsible for the weak trust and who needs to make changes to rebuild it?
We could spend days and months and years debating questions of blame and fault. Yes, of course, cheating wrecks a relationship. It is a betrayal of trust and it causes serious damage. But, if you can’t see beyond cheating– or beyond whatever it is that your partner did– you will make little (or no) progress toward rebuilding trust and your relationship.
Instead, try these 3 tips to start moving closer to your mate again…
#1: Identify the habits that weaken trust without getting stuck in the blame game.
It’s important to look at what is going on and how you got where you are as you begin to change direction in your relationship.
This is a potentially tricky step, because the tension and conflict between you and your partner can intensify and become so much worse when you play the blame game.
You probably know how this works.
You or your partner notices that trust is weak between you two and then either (or both) of you begin to point fingers of blame at the other one. From there, defensiveness, name-calling and further distance usually result.
It can be helpful to identify patterns that crop up frequently in your relationship. Take an honest look at how you two tend to communicate, what happens when disagreements arise, how often you really connect and focus in on one another and other major aspects of your relationship.
When you review the habits that have developed, it will probably be evident to you where the weaknesses are. Knowing this can help.
#2: Own your role in the disconnecting dynamics.
You can probably easily list off all of the annoying, irritating and downright infuriating things that your partner says and does that also weaken trust between you two. If your partner had an affair or if he or she gets jealous easily, these may be at the top of that list.
Now that you have a better idea of the relationship habits that move you and your partner away from one another, it’s time to courageously look at your role.
This is absolutely NOT about you taking the blame for the problems you two are having. This IS about you taking responsibility for your share in the disconnecting dynamics that undermining your relationship.
If you are having a hard time seeing your role, ask your partner to tell you (in as gentle and loving a way as possible) what you do that contributes to his or her jealousy or even the past infidelity.
Yes, of course, your partner needs to step up and be responsible for his or her decision to cheat, spy on you, flirt, lie or even wrongly accuse you. But, you also need to acknowledge your part.
#3: Notice improvements in both your and your partner’s behaviors.
After really seeing the habits that you and your mate have– both individually and as a couple– that weaken trust, you can begin to make some changes. You can create agreements and re-commit to one another in ways that will help you reverse some of the harmful habits you’ve developed.
Be sure that you are noticing it when improvements happen. Too often, a couple can become so focused in on their problems– especially their past problems– that they don’t pause to see that there are some positive changes occurring.
No matter how insignificant they appear to be, don’t downplay or ignore the improvements. Build on them and watch trust rebuild.
Marriage Relationships Advice – How A Couple Can Maintain A Good Relationship After Marriage
Thursday, October 21st, 2010http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pAiMUxa2Tc Watch this video from YouTube by chance. It describes differences among after “married 7 days”, “married 7 months” and “married 7 years”. Very funny but impressive video!
A romantic relationship is essential to most marriages. But only a small minority of couples can maintain a romantic relationship after marriage.
Let me give you some advices of how to maintain a romantic relationship after marriage all the time.
Advice 1: Focus on Commonalities
A romantic relationship needs husbands and wives to share emotions, experiences, and beliefs. While happily married coup 0les can rattle off their differences, they will also always make statements about the things they have in common. The more couples focus on these things they have in common, the deeper intimacy is allowed to grow.
Think about the times you have felt the most connected with your spouse. One of the best exercises anyone can do to make their marriage a more romantic relationship is to focus on what you do have, and not on what you wish were different. Remember, it’s not about trying to change your spouse, making him or her think, feel and behave more like you. Instead, try to understand these differences and not pass judgment.
Advice 2: Spend time together
Studies indicate that marital happiness is highly correlated with the amount of time spent together. This means getting to know each other better and spending time together. Plan together and you’ll find that the planning takes time and effort. These shared plans do so much good for a marriage because they acknowledge the importance of your union and give you a sense of future together. Busy couples should actually schedule time together, such as going on lunch dates or turning off the TV at night, to enjoy each other’s company. This way, you are intentionally connecting and showing each other attention and appreciation, factors that are crucial to a romantic relationship.
Advice 3: Give Compliments
Lovers shower compliments upon each other (even when not really necessary) and this actually helps in nurturing your romance. It is very natural for lovers to get busy with daily work, family and home post marriage. But in this hustle bustle, many a times both forget to compliment one another when she is wearing her hair differently or he is looking more handsome on a particular day. So take time out of your work and kids to notice his/her looks and give complements. Not just looks, you can also compliment your partner on his/her work, achievements, etc. This will surely work in re-injecting romance in your marriage.
Advice 4: Be Interested in His/Her Life
It is not really possible to like each and every habit of your spouse. For example, a wife may not really be interested when her partner spends the entire morning cleaning his car. On the other hand, a husband may not really appreciate the reality shows wives like watching on TV. But think again. They are not really that bad. Are they? Moreover if you genuinely sometimes take interest in things that interests your life partner, he or she will really appreciate your gesture and reciprocate.
Last advice: Surprises can be Fun
With the daily tensions, there is more need of romance in your life. Giving your partner little surprises goes a long way in elevating moods and lessening anxieties. Here I give some tips to you:
Tips 1: Unexpected kissing
When was the last time that you surprised your spouse with a kiss? Giving your partner a smooch when he isn’t anticipating it will catch him off guard in a pleasant way.
Tips 2: A Surprised Gift
You can leave cute love messages (or a small gift @^.^@) for one another under the pillow. Watch this video for some gift ideas.
I think making a Sweet Video Slideshow with a Free PowerPoint to Video converter such as Acoolsoft PPT to Video Free is also a good idea. Go and try it yourself!
If you practice these ideas, you will quickly see how you can light the fire of intimacy in your marriage and rekindle your romantic relationship.